Anger Management

People are always saying women who are angry all the time 'sure tak dapat.'

Well, I beg to differ.

Tak dapat is nowhere as aggravating as 'tak puas.'

Of course, I blame men for this.

You would have thought with the Age of Information, they would learn something useful eh? 

Negative!

Used to be men learnt about bonking from pron videos/DVD. Now they just shift their lazy hairy arse online.

They'd be much better off learning about bonking from reading Jackie Collins.

Pron doesn't teach men about foreplay. Apart from taking their trousers off and shoving their dick in the girl's mouth. (Ariel Peterpron is a case in point. He should be stoned for being such a selfish bastard)

And wtf with all the butt slapping during doggie? Do girls really like that?

All pron teach is how women can fake unconvincingly. 

Honestly, you see them moaning and groaning like they are about to give birth to an alien and the close-up shows a dried cvnt. 

And you guys are turned on by that?

Worst of all, pron doesn't teach men about the most important thing about pleasing a woman.

Our magic button. Or in Bahasa Ibunda, 'bijik ajaib'.

Yeah, guys that's where it's at. If you know how to bring the bijik ajaib to live, you don't need to last longer than the duration of November Rain (thanks Mak Hayam Leen for keeping track of the time of that track). Okaylah, maybe twice the length of November Rain would be more afdal.

Lift the button off to get the girl off. 

Ini pun kena ajar ke? Useless buggers. 

Tsk

It's not as if you need a GPS to find it. It's the bell above the door. (G-spot on the other hand is front door, back wall.)

You may think your Mr Happy or Mr Big (rrrrright)  makes us happy. But truth be told, most women would rather a man with an accommodating tongue.

I can't be arsed to give you the instructions since my showerhead doesn't need any. Just go slow and easy and don't use the tip of your tongue. 

And ladies, even if you are without a partner, you don't need to be all bitter and lash out at everyone around you. 

Form a lifelong relationship with a showerhead. Showerhead doesn't have BO. Showerhead is not selfish. And showerhead doesn't expect you to return the favour. heh.

And keep a spare in the bathroom closet. (The best one can be purchased at that hardware store on the ground floor at BSC).

Then again, there are some uptight women out there who couldn't reach their peak even with a Borsh drill.